Detangler
I think there's a lot of beauty that comes with thinking big, but also a lot of hard shit too. The most challenging vice of thinking big is the constant thinking… It’s exhausting. Some days I feel like my brain just ran a marathon with how much anxiety I’ve built up for myself. Ultimately, these thoughts form a giant knot that feels nearly impossible to untangle on my own.
So with that, I have to reach for some detangler and begin to comb through the pieces of the unruly chaos I’ve created. What ‘detangler’ I opt for depends on how gnarly the knot is. If I ever feel the knot begin to form, I give myself a rest period; alone time, to silence the noise and start to work through the nuances.
Some weeks in particular, when I start to get in my head, I give myself a break from most of my socials. I've found that when I'm most anxious, my first line of defense is to jump right onto my phone. More often than not, this does more harm than good. Hiding behind my phone can sometimes, lead me to an overwhelming amount of comparison and self defamation. Inevitably causing the knot to thicken.
Growing up, I could read like no one's fucking business. I was winning the monthly six grade reading competition, no sweat. Soooo obviously I love reading. I can't even describe how euphoric the feeling of getting into the rhythm of a book is. It's like washing your face after a long day of traveling or stepping out of the car after a road trip. Whenever my eyes are glued to a book, nothing else matters. I escape every little trouble I have, and forget about all my worries. Life is simplified, life is detangled. Lately, I have really been trying to add reading back into my lure of detanglers because out of everything I've tried, nothing makes me feel better.
I know when you're that low, it's hard to feel like you deserve to delegate the time to take a step back and breathe. But you do deserve it, everyone does. So therefore, when you simply cannot stop thinking, begin detangling your thoughts piece by piece.
And then you will finally be able to think straight again.